Firsts

 

I’m new to this.

Tonight I had dinner with a friend who told me that I should be open to “firsts.” There is nothing as beautiful and fresh as a “first” – be it a first kiss, first love, first week in a new town or the first time seeing a natural wonder.

This is my first blog. I am not going to pretend I am a seasoned writer, or even anything above a dabbler in writing. This isn’t my first time speaking out about my thoughts or the things I hold in my heart.

I told myself at the beginning of this year that I wanted to live a more open and honest life. We paint these perfect images of ourselves and present that perfection to the world. I admit, it is incredibly difficult to stay honest.

There will be a lot of trial and error with this blog. I can’t promise you much, but I can promise that between all of the edited photos, shared playlists and favorite recipes, there will be¬†honest stories of my life at the moment. I hold a lot of feelings about the way the world is, and there will be times when I will write about them.

But first, let me introduce myself.

My name is Susan, but you can call me Sus (pronounced Suze, but without the e). I drink a lot of chamomile tea. I prefer big books with lots of words, or small books with lots of pictures. I love the way grass smells after it gets cut. I carry flowers in the farmer’s market like people hold babies – tightly and close to my heart.

I struggle.

Here is me, from today.

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I can smile now. I can laugh with ease. There have been days, even months, when smiling or laughing took an extreme amount of effort. Even now, I cheer quietly for myself when I get out of bed in the morning. I believe in ordinary achievements. Small moments can make for great days.

I am flawed.

I get jealous easily. I get frustrated easily. I speak before I think. I trust too easily. I am not a perfect person, and I believe it’s important for you to know that right away.

As you get to know me, in the coming posts and months, I hope you take the time to think about your own self. I will end each post with a question that I hope you reflect on. Do you have thoughts that you want to share with me? Contact me through this blog. I would love to hear from you.

What do you think the definition of achievement ought to be? Do we focus too much on grandiose moments, and forget about the small ones that build our lives? 

The light in me honors the light in you.

You are in my heart, Sus

 

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